simple words cant explain this stillness.
this sick,disgusting,churning illlness.
it all plagues the fact,
that you are gone.
we are done.
things werent said.
and now its over
.all the sun runs back under.
its.over.

why does everytime things are going great,it all changes. I think 'why did i think that was right?' Im sick of all the hospital trips. Im sick of my friends leaving. I already have had 4 friends pass on. Damian is the hospital. My church is my getaway. Im going to be random. Gahh. i like short sentences. My trip to Ireland was cancelled. My life itself is insane. i got made fun of just because i believe in god. That proves how "open" some places are. I miss my boyfriend. My ex is just now apologizing realizing im hurt. [we broke up in November] People judge me,alot. i dont like it.Lessar is very funny funny as hell. He is thenly thing making me smile.:D i tried to call my 'best friend' to tell her i and Damian were going in the hospital,and someone picked up the phone and hung up. i make new paragraphs randomly. Zushoo[Robert] wants to marry mexD my new home is Barns & Noble. I love it there,half of the employees know me:D Tessa is a whore. Miley Cyrus is a twitter whore. I <3 Ninja Turtle popsicles:]] Matthew is now a vegan. i love twirl bars. I hate highly dislike Amy and Nicole.A 16 year old asked me for his number. I got flowers. i cried all night. The song 'Are We Human or Are We Daner' by The Killers expresses how i feel. im going to a TWLOHA gathering. i need a hug. my boyfriend doesnt answer his phone. i love him,but im not sure if he is strong enough to love me at the moment. i want to cut reality off. Now. Lessar gave me his jacket. Honestly,i need a break. From everything. My boyfriend is close to death. Stupid cancer super stupid-IQ -of-12 bone cancer:[[ My boyfriend has bone cancer-i still cant believe it. i cried in Lessar's arms. I finally got that hug. i helped someone. My friend died. The ground punched Ryan in the facexD Some how i can find happiness in my life currently. Thanks to my friends:D Lessar/Ryan may be the funniest people alive. Fo' sho'. Malaray must be the most reliable person i know:] Someone i knew since 2nd grade DEFINETLY isnt. im cold. i always play the same sone over,and over,and over,and over... im wearing Lessar's hoodie:D when i was crying,Lessar somehow made me laugh Hysterically. He has Astronamical powerzz. Thanks to Damon for making up the word Astronamical. i type WAYYYY too much.i walked for an hour just to clear my thoughts. i walked all the way back home. im dancer. No one got that. Mac got kicked out of target for fliming.xDD i was called a liar. i was also called the most truthful person. Lessar just got me the juno HAMBUGER PHONE!! yes. Lessar's nickname is Puff the Magic Dragon. :D i got some Dr. Peppahh. i took a note someone gave me that claimed they loved me,burned it,then walked to the lake and sat. i know one person who will read tis all. haha and he knows it tooxD Ryan left his wallet here. haha its in my handsxD Robert i smy jewish-ish husband for lifee. You can look all over but you,you will never find. Only cool kids would get that. i about peed myself laughing at lessar's house. He wore skin tight leather pantz. Wtf? :D We danced on a sidewalk. I now enjot Ashley park even more. i iz cold. i need a hug again. Rebeccaaaaaaa. to the court with you sawwie self. lol Andy Warhol<3 If you ever see idiots at ashley park,thats me&my friends. we are hard to miss. i hope Howie doesnt show up. He is da PEDOBEAR fo' shizzle. im so glad my friends are here to keep me sane. Robert needs to come online.. Tessa needs to back off. gawd. We got more bounce in California than all yall combined. :D Stephen's party was amazingg. Too bad mt so-called-best-friend didnt answer her phone. She couldve came. Link is my lover fo lifeeeeee. im content with my life. no matter what going on,my friends can cheer me up. Just by jumping in a pool fully clothed for me. Savannah shal nevahhhh see Lessar. he shalll nevahhh see her:P lol Collin needs to shh. Super party techno dance drunk party-Says Jigitz[Jake] well so yeah. I IZ A DINOSAURRRRRR. and i iz the kool aid jug man. :D ryan is not. not that Ryan. the other silly. so yeah. whatevahh. With alot of Strawberriez and Mod_Sharon. haha Lessar,Ryan,and you know who. xD

noo.

Why? Why does the one person you talk to everyday,love,is your best friend and everything else leave. Just leave out of no where. Its not his fault,he had nothing to do with it. His mother. What did she not like about me? I've been crying since 8am,when i got his phone call. Oh his mother states,"He needs time away from this for awhile" He needs time away from her,and he agrees. But no she is coming with him. I got his last hug at 5:06 pm. The day we met,May 6th 2006. That WASN'T planned. I only hope that was a sign that his Dad will get him back here,away from his overcontrolling mother,back into my arms-me back into his. He was the thing that kept me sane when all the rumors said i wasn't. My only hope,his dad's promise is what is now keeping me sane. I feel like crawling in a hole,never speaking to anyone but him. Im tired of everything going wrong lately. Blahh

i sorry!

people from my school has missed this,then make accounts! i have had a lot of stuff going on
:[ no good//

Oodles,moodles.noodles

Don't ask about the title. I don't know. I just got introduced to The Devil Wears Parada,its pretty good. I like them. Now,i love life/kinda sad. Some of my friends and I got hurt. Ryan did severely. Poor Ryan=[ Well i have stupid homework. Ughh,bye.

Im so happy.

I just adore mahh leprecat=] I was sick today so I didn't go to school and me Leprecat made his dad drive him to my house after school and brought me soup. That is so awesome. Yay.

Oh,im sorry.

That I can't speak my mind. That goes to someone im mad at. Well i got my Leprecat(=]) to make me happy. To quote Bob Marley,"'Cause every little thing gonna be all right" Me Leprecat can beat up anyone how makes me sad. Yay.